Friday, November 15, 2013

Roaster Retiree Richard

On Nov. 9, Goldmine roasted Retiree Richard Archer to a golden turn.  We were happy to have guests Sue Archer, Diane Shepherd, Willie Nodine, Barney Barnum, Kent Edwards, Kim Jackson, Betty Walker, and Ken Miller, as well as reporter Susan Shinn. With Richard, the guests, and 15 Goldmine members, the room was full.  Serena Edwards, Goldmine President opened the meeting as presiding officer and also shared some of the unwritten rules of golf (some of which we are sure Richard has broken). We modified the meeting format so that our Richard Archer theme allowed for additional speakers to tell stories about Richard, and to let him respond to the roasters, so speech evaluations were given in written form by Jerry Weikle, Kathy Kombol, and Phyllis Kombol.

Sonny started us with a thought and the pledge, Karen Boothe was Timer, Cynthia Randolph was Grammarian with gravitas, and Eugene Preston counted Ballots and Ahs.  Matthew Charity served up Richard’s roast as the Toastmaster.

Al Minter’s Table Topics asked Ken Miller to describe Richard’s golf game from the perspective of the golf ball.  Phyllis Kombol described Richard’s greatest failing as not being able to make us go away.  Joyce told us how Richard was worth listening to, as least in her estimation because of his Tilly Hat speech.  Kathy Kombol was asked to tell about what she might hear as a fly in the car when Richard was heading off to vacation, and Jerry Weikle described a possible political theme for Richard, “Do no more than you have to.”

All of the prepared speeches were about Richard, too.  Richard is “More Memorable than…(Meatloaf, Golf, and Fishing)” according to Kim Jackson, who also remembered Richard’s “Enabler,” the resource notebook that allowed him to fill almost any role at the drop of a hat. Sonny Tolbert told what seemed like a tall tale about Richard’s days as a disco dancer…or was it maybe true?! Barney Barnum channeled many members from the past, including Jay Nodine, Ray Coates, and Lee Johnston in his speech “Sir Richard.” John Shepherd closed out this section of our meeting with his “Tribute to Richard Archer.”

Holding this whole show together was our very able Roastmaster, Matthew Charity, who added some extra levity by explaining why “TGIF” was Richard’s mother’s way of helping him with his shoe difficulty by reminding him that “Toes Go In First.”  Matthew also made fun of Richard’s Mazda pickup, explaining how you could make it go from 0 to 60 in less than 15 seconds by pushing it off a cliff, and why the last 2 pages of the owner’s manual included the bus schedule.

Additional roast comments were supplied by Alex Porter, who explained Richard, like himself, has a low entertainment threshold. Betty reminisced about her own gullibility in believing Richard’s story about the Warrior Fish of Lake Tillery. Karen Boothe added a heartfelt “thank you” to Richard for all he has meant to our Goldmine group.

Richard did have his chance to respond to all of his roasters, but had to admit we got a lot of it right and true.  He is hoping to travel, and perhaps be able to return occasionally, and assured us that he takes away many fond memories, along with accolades, awards, and a very fine plaque commemorating his many years as a Goldmine member. This was a morning as golden as they come at Goldmine Toastmasters.

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